Korean RSVP: How to Politely Say “No” Like a Pro

Hello! Welcome to Maeil Hangeul, here to upgrade your Korean skills!

Ever received an invitation you just couldn’t accept? Saying “no” can be awkward in any language, but in Korean, being polite is extra important, especially in formal situations like a work dinner or a wedding.

These days in Korea, with lots of events and get-togethers happening again, knowing how to decline gracefully is a super-valuable skill. Today, we’ll learn how to say “I can’t make it” without sounding rude. Let’s get started!

Core Expressions for Polite Refusals

Here are three essential phrases that will make you sound considerate and fluent when you have to decline an invitation.

1. 아쉽지만 참석하기 어려울 것 같아요.

• Pronunciation [Romanization]: Aswipjiman chamseokagi eoryeoul geot gatayo.
• English Meaning: Unfortunately, it seems difficult for me to attend.
• Detailed Explanation: This is the perfect soft and indirect way to say no. Instead of a direct “I can’t go,” you’re expressing regret (아쉽지만 – it’s a shame, but…) and explaining that attendance seems difficult (참석하기 어려울 것 같아요). It’s a classic, polite phrase suitable for almost any formal situation.
• 💡 Pronunciation Tip:
  The word 같아요 is not pronounced ‘gat-a-yo’. In Korean, when a final consonant like ‘ㅌ (t)’ is followed by a vowel, the sound often carries over to the next syllable. Here, the ‘ㅌ’ sound softens to a ‘ㄷ (d)’ sound, making the pronunciation [ga-ta-yo]. It’s much smoother and more natural!

2. 꼭 가고 싶은데, 선약이 있어서요.

• Pronunciation [Romanization]: Kkok gago sipeunde, seonyagi isseoseoyo.
• English Meaning: I’d really love to go, but I have a prior engagement.
• Detailed Explanation: This phrase is brilliant because it starts by showing your enthusiasm. 꼭 가고 싶은데 (I really want to go, but…) makes the other person feel that you genuinely wish you could be there. Then, you provide a respectable reason: 선약이 있어서요 (because I have a prior plan/engagement). The -서요 (-seoyo) ending makes your reason sound softer and more polite.
• 💡 Pronunciation Tip:
  In 있어서요 [isseoseoyo], the final consonant ‘ㅆ (ss)’ in ‘있’ links directly to the next vowel ‘어’. So, instead of a choppy “it-eo-seo-yo,” you pronounce it as one smooth flow: [i-sseo-seo-yo]. Practice saying it smoothly!

3. 마음만 감사히 받겠습니다.

• Pronunciation [Romanization]: Maeumman gamsahi batgetseumnida.
• English Meaning: I will gratefully accept just your heart/thought.
• Detailed Explanation: This is a very elegant and formal expression that shows deep appreciation. You’re not just declining the event; you’re thankfully acknowledging the kindness and thought behind the invitation. It’s commonly used when declining formal invitations like weddings or very generous offers. It literally means “I will only receive your heart.”
• 💡 Pronunciation Tip:
  In 감사히 [gamsahi], the ‘ㅎ (h)’ sound between two voiced sounds (like vowels or ‘ㅁ’) becomes very weak or even silent. So, you don’t pronounce it as ‘gam-sa-HI’. Instead, it sounds more like [gam-sa-i]. Similarly, in 받겠습니다 [batgetseumnida], the final consonant ‘ㄷ (d)’ before ‘ㄱ (g)’ changes to a ‘ㄷ’ sound, but the final ‘ㅂ니다’ is pronounced [seum-ni-da] due to nasalization rules. It’s a tricky one, but it makes you sound very polished!

Example Dialogue

Let’s see how these phrases work in a real-life office conversation. Manager Park is inviting Minjun to a team dinner (hoesik).

• A (Manager Park): 민준 씨, 이번 주 금요일에 우리 팀 회식 있는데, 올 수 있어요?
  • Minjun-ssi, ibeon ju geumyoire uri tim hoesik inneunde, ol su isseoyo?
  • (Minjun, we’re having our team dinner this Friday, can you come?)
• B (Minjun): 아, 초대해 주셔서 감사합니다! 그런데 꼭 가고 싶은데, 선약이 있어서요. 아쉽지만 참석하기 어려울 것 같아요.
  • A, chodaehae jusyeoseo gamsahamnida! Geureonde kkok gago sipeunde, seonyagi isseoseoyo. Aswipjiman chamseokagi eoryeoul geot gatayo.
  • (Ah, thank you for the invitation! I’d really love to go, but I have a prior engagement. Unfortunately, it seems difficult for me to attend.)
• A (Manager Park): 그렇군요. 알겠어요. 다음에 같이 가요.
  • Geureokun-yo. Algesseoyo. Daeume gachi gayo.
  • (I see. Okay. Let’s go together next time.)
• B (Minjun): 네, 감사합니다! 마음만 감사히 받겠습니다.
  • Ne, gamsahamnida! Maeumman gamsahi batgetseumnida.
  • (Yes, thank you! I gratefully accept the kind thought.)

Culture Tip & Trend Deep Dive

In traditional Korean workplace culture, declining a hoesik (회식, team dinner) from a boss was often seen as disrespectful. However, things are changing!

The Korean “MZ Generation” (a combination of Millennials and Gen Z) places a high value on work-life balance (워라밸, worabel). It’s becoming more acceptable to decline after-work events for personal reasons.

The key is how you decline. Using a vague but polite reason like “선약이 있어서요” (I have a prior engagement) is the magic phrase. It allows you to maintain a good relationship (좋은 관계, joheun gwangye) and show respect, while still protecting your personal time. It’s a perfect example of exercising nunchi (눈치)—the subtle art of sensing a social situation and reacting appropriately. Using these phrases shows you have great nunchi!

Let’s Review & Practice!

Great job today! We learned three fantastic ways to politely decline an invitation:

• 아쉽지만 참석하기 어려울 것 같아요. (Unfortunately, it seems difficult to attend.)
• 꼭 가고 싶은데, 선약이 있어서요. (I’d love to go, but I have a prior commitment.)
• 마음만 감사히 받겠습니다. (Thank you for the kind thought.)

Now, it’s your turn to practice!

Quiz Time!

1. Your friend invites you to their wedding, but you have an unavoidable trip planned. What is a very elegant and appreciative way to decline?

   a) 아니요, 못 가요. (No, I can’t go.)
   b) 다음에 갈게요. (I’ll go next time.)
   c) 마음만 감사히 받겠습니다. (I’ll gratefully accept just the thought.)

2. Fill in the blank: Your colleague invites you for drinks after work, but you’re not feeling well.

   “초대해줘서 고마워요. 그런데 오늘은 몸이 안 좋아서 참석하기 _________ 것 같아요.”
   (Hint: difficult)

Leave your answers in the comments below! Try making your own sentence using today’s phrases. We can’t wait to see what you come up with