아가씨, 도련님” No More? Korea’s Family Titles Are Changing!

“아가씨, 도련님” No More? Korea’s Family Titles Are Changing!

Hello! This is [Daily Hangul], here to upgrade your Korean skills!

Have you ever been confused by the complex web of Korean family titles? You’re not alone! But what if I told you those titles are currently at the center of a huge social conversation in Korea? Today, we’re diving into a fascinating and very current topic: the evolution of family “호칭” (ho-ching), or titles of address.

Lately in Korea, there’s a growing movement to make family language more equal. Traditionally, the titles a woman uses for her husband’s family are very different from the ones a man uses for his wife’s family, and many people feel they reflect an outdated hierarchy. This is a hot topic you’ll hear discussed on TV, in dramas, and among friends. Learning about it won’t just improve your Korean; it will give you a direct window into modern Korean culture!

Ready to sound like you’re truly in the know? Let’s get started!

Core Expressions You Need to Know

Here are the key terms at the heart of the conversation.

1. 아가씨 (Agassi) / 도련님 (Doryeonnim)

• Pronunciation [Romanized]: [A-ga-ssi] / [Do-ryeon-nim]
• English Meaning: Sister-in-law (husband’s younger sister) / Brother-in-law (husband’s younger brother)
• Detailed Explanation:
  These are the traditional titles a wife uses for her husband’s younger siblings. Here’s why they’re controversial: 아가씨 originally means “young lady,” and 도련님 means “young master.” These terms come from a time with a very strict social hierarchy and can feel uncomfortable and unequal today. Imagine calling your brother-in-law “young master”! This is why many Koreans are looking for new, more modern alternatives.
• 💡 Pronunciation Tip:
  For 아가씨 (agassi), the key is the ‘ㅆ’ (ss) sound. It’s a tense, sharp ‘s’ sound made with the front of your tongue pressed firmly against the roof of your mouth. It’s stronger than a single ‘ㅅ’ (s). Think “miss” not “miserable.”

2. OOO 씨 (ssi) / OOO 님 (nim)

• Pronunciation [Romanized]: [OOO ssi] / [OOO nim]
• English Meaning: Mr./Ms. OOO (using their first name)
• Detailed Explanation:
  This is the modern solution! Instead of the old titles, many people now prefer calling their in-laws by their [First Name] + 님 (nim). For example, if your husband’s younger sister is named “Sujin,” you would call her “수진 님 (Sujin-nim).” While 씨 (ssi) is also a polite suffix, 님 (nim) adds a layer of respect that feels more appropriate within a family, creating a relationship that is both respectful and equal.
• 💡 Pronunciation Tip:
  Be careful with the particle -이 (i) after a name ending in a consonant. If your brother-in-law’s name is “Junho,” he is “준호 님 (Junho-nim).” But if his name is “Jihun,” you would often say “지훈이 님 (Jihun-i nim)” in casual speech, though “지훈 님 (Jihun-nim)” is also correct. The -이 is a vocative particle that makes the name sound smoother and friendlier.

3. 제 생각에는… (-는/은 것 같아요)

• Pronunciation [Romanized]: [Je saeng-ga-ge-neun… (-neun/eun geot ga-ta-yo)]
• English Meaning: In my opinion… / I think that…
• Detailed Explanation:
  This is the perfect phrase for sharing your thoughts on a sensitive or subjective topic like this one! It literally means “In my thought, it seems like…” It’s a softer, more polite way to state an opinion than saying “저는 …-라고 생각해요 (I think that…).” You can attach it to verbs or adjectives to express your view.
  • Verb: 바뀌다 (to change) -> 바뀌는 것 같아요 (I think it’s changing).
  • Adjective: 좋다 (to be good) -> 좋은 것 같아요 (I think it’s good).
• 💡 Pronunciation Tip:
  Listen for the sound change in 생각에는 [saeng-ga-ge-neun]. The final consonant ‘ㄱ’ (k) from ‘생각’ moves over to the next syllable ‘에’ (e). So, instead of a choppy “saeng-gak-e-neun,” it flows smoothly as [saeng-ga-ge-neun]. This is a very common Korean pronunciation rule called liaison (연음).

Example Dialogue

Let’s see these expressions in action! Minjun (a Korean) and Chloe (a learner) are watching a popular K-drama.

A (Chloe): Hey Minjun, in this drama, why does the main actress look so uncomfortable calling her husband’s sister 아가씨?

B (Minjun): Ah, that’s a hot topic in Korea right now. Traditionally, that’s the correct title, but 아가씨 literally means “young lady,” which feels a bit hierarchical today.

A (Chloe): I see! So, what’s the alternative?

B (Minjun): Many people now just use the person’s name followed by 님, like 수진 님. 제 생각에는 그게 더 평등하고 좋은 것 같아요. (In my opinion, I think that’s more equal and better.)

A (Chloe): That makes so much sense. So I should use [이름]+님 instead of 도련님 too?

B (Minjun): Exactly! You’re catching on to modern Korean culture!

Culture Tip & Trend Deep Dive

This isn’t just a casual trend; it’s a nationwide conversation! The Korean Ministry of Gender Equality and Family has actively run campaigns promoting new, gender-equal family titles.

• The Z-Generation’s Voice: Young Koreans, especially Gen Z, are the biggest drivers of this change. On social media platforms like Instagram and Twitter, you’ll see hashtags like #호칭개선 (ho-ching-gae-seon: title improvement) and #평등한가족 (pyeong-deung-han-ga-jok: equal family) where people share their experiences and advocate for change.
• K-Drama Reflection: You’ll notice this trend reflected in recent K-dramas! While older dramas might stick to 아가씨 and 도련님, newer shows often feature “woke” female leads who insist on using modern, respectful titles like 수진 님, sparking a family debate right on screen.
• The Insider’s Edge: To truly sound like an insider, don’t just memorize the words. Understand the ‘why’ behind them. Mentioning that you know this change is about creating a more 수평적인 (su-pyeong-jeo-gin: horizontal/egalitarian) family culture will surely impress your Korean friends!

Let’s Wrap It Up & Practice!

Today, we learned that Korean family titles are moving away from traditional, hierarchical terms like 아가씨 and 도련님 towards the more modern and equal [이름]+님. We also learned how to express our opinion on this topic using 제 생각에는... -는 것 같아요.

Now it’s your turn to practice!

1. Fill in the blank: How would you say, “In my opinion, I think calling each other by name is more friendly”?
   • 제 생각에는 서로 이름을 부르는 것이 더 ________ 것 같아요.
   • (Hint: The word for “friendly” is 친근하다)
2. Share your thoughts: What do you think about this cultural shift in Korea?

Leave your answers and opinions in the comments below using the phrases we learned today. We’d love to hear from you