Korean Holiday Visits: How to Schedule with In-laws Like a Pro!
Hello! This is [Everyday Hangul], here to upgrade your Korean skills!
Ever feel a little nervous before a big family holiday? You’re not alone! Today, we’re diving into a very real and useful situation for anyone with Korean family or a spouse: how to coordinate holiday visit schedules with your in-laws.
In Korea, holidays like Chuseok (추석) and Seollal (설날) are massive family events. Deciding which family to visit first can sometimes be a delicate dance. But don’t worry! With the right phrases, you can navigate these conversations smoothly and diplomatically, showing respect while also expressing your own thoughts. Let’s learn how to become a master of holiday planning!
Core Expressions for Holiday Diplomacy
Here are some essential phrases that will help you discuss plans politely and find a happy solution for everyone.
1. -는 게 어때요? (-neun ge eottaeyo?)
- Pronunciation [Romanized]: -neun ge eo-ttae-yo?
- English Meaning: How about doing…? / What do you think about…?
- Detailed Explanation: This is the perfect way to make a suggestion softly and politely. Instead of saying “Let’s do this!” (이거 합시다!), which can sound a bit strong, using “-는 게 어때요?” invites the other person’s opinion. It shows that you are thinking together as a team. It’s a cornerstone of polite negotiation in Korean.
2. 먼저 (meonjeo)
- Pronunciation [Romanized]: meon-jeo
- English Meaning: First / Beforehand
- Detailed Explanation: This simple word is incredibly powerful when scheduling. The order of events is very important during holidays. You can use it to suggest a sequence, like “Let’s go to your parents’ house first” (시댁에 먼저 가요). It’s a neutral and clear way to structure your plan.
3. 조율하다 (joyulhada)
- Pronunciation [Romanized]: jo-yul-ha-da
- English Meaning: To coordinate / To mediate / To tune
- Detailed Explanation: This verb is a level-up from simply ‘deciding’ (정하다).
조율하다originally means “to tune” an instrument. In conversation, it carries the nuance of carefully adjusting different opinions and schedules to find the perfect harmony. Using this word shows you understand the complexity and importance of finding a fair compromise.
4. 서운하다 (seounhada)
- Pronunciation [Romanized]: seo-un-ha-da
- English Meaning: To feel sad, hurt, or disappointed (by someone you’re close to)
- Detailed Explanation: This is a crucial emotional word in Korean culture. It’s not just ‘sad’. It describes a specific feeling of being let down or slighted by someone you expected more from, like a close friend or family member. You can use it to gently explain the potential feelings of family members, for example: “If we don’t visit, they might feel hurt” (우리가 안 가면 서운해하실 수도 있어요). It’s a very effective way to express concern without sounding accusatory.
Example Dialogue: Planning for Chuseok
Let’s see how these expressions work in a real conversation between a married couple, Minjun (A) and Sora (B).
A (민준): 여보, 이번 추석 일정 어떻게 할까? 다가오니까 미리 얘기해야 할 것 같아.
(Yeobo, ibeon Chuseok iljeong eotteoke halkka? Dagao-nikka miri yaegihaeya hal geot gata.)
Honey, what should we do for our Chuseok schedule? It’s getting close, so I think we should talk about it in advance.
B (소라): 음… 작년에는 우리 부모님 댁에 먼저 갔으니까, 올해는 시댁에 먼저 가는 게 어때요?
(Eum… jangnyeon-eneun uri bumonim daege meonjeo gasseu-nikka, orhae-neun sidaeg-e meonjeo ga-neun ge eottaeyo?)
Hmm… Since we went to my parents’ house first last year, how about we go to your parents’ house first this year?
A (민준): 좋은 생각이야. 양가 부모님 모두 서운하시지 않게 시간을 잘 조율해야 해. 그럼 첫날 오전에 시댁에 가고, 오후에 처가로 갈까?
(Jo-eun saenggak-iya. Yang-ga bumonim modu seounhasiji anke sigan-eul jal joyulhaeya hae. Geureom cheotnal ojeon-e sidaeg-e gago, ohu-e cheoga-ro galkka?)
That’s a great idea. We need to coordinate the time well so that neither of our parents feels hurt. How about we go to my parents’ in the morning on the first day, and then to your parents’ in the afternoon?
B (소라): 좋아요! 그렇게 해요. 완벽해요!
(Joayo! Geureoke haeyo. Wanbyeokhaeyo!)
Sounds good! Let’s do that. That’s perfect!
Culture Tip & Trend Deep Dive
In the past, Korean tradition strongly dictated that a couple visit the husband’s family (시댁) first during major holidays. However, this is rapidly changing, especially among the younger generation!
Today, you’ll see many couples handle this in modern ways:
* Alternating Years: Just like in our dialogue, many couples take turns visiting one family first each year. This is seen as a very fair and popular solution.
* The “Same-Day” Dash: Some couples who live close to both sets of parents try to visit both in one day to be perfectly equal.
* The Rise of ‘Holiday Stress’ (명절 스트레스): This is a very common term in Korea! Scheduling, gift-giving, and long hours of cooking can be stressful. Because of this, using diplomatic language like 조율하다 isn’t just about being polite—it’s a key skill for maintaining family harmony and reducing stress for everyone. If you use this word, you’ll sound very thoughtful and culturally aware!
Wrap-up & Practice Time!
Great job today! You’ve learned how to navigate a tricky but important cultural conversation in Korean. By using gentle suggestions with -는 게 어때요?, clarifying the order with 먼저, showing your thoughtfulness with 조율하다, and considering feelings with 서운하다, you’re ready to plan any family event like a pro.
Now, let’s practice!
- Fill in the Blank: You want to suggest eating out instead of cooking at home for the holiday.
이번 명절에는 집에서 요리하는 것보다 외식하_______?
(Answer: 는 게 어때요) - Your Turn! How would you suggest coordinating the holiday gift list with your partner? Try to make a sentence using 조율하다.
Leave your answers and your own holiday stories in the comments below using the expressions you learned today! We’d love to hear from you
